Where I am Found: A Poem to the Father

My relationship with God as Father has been one of incredible healing and freedom. For as long as I could remember, God as Father represented a relationship of expectation, ownership and accountability. A feeling that I needed to "measure up" to deserve the Father's love. In recent months, the Father has revealed Himself to me in a new and intimate way, and it has been rather life changing. Here is a short poem that the Father spoke to me in one of my prayer times as I reflected on my heart and my spiritual journey towards understanding my identity as Daughter to a loving Father.

---

Father, I am searching, but I cannot seem to find you.

In each daily movement, in every word I hear, every phrase I read, I search for you.

Where are you in this pain, where are you in this hurt.

I am broken. I am bleeding. I am helpless before you.

Father, where are you in this moment, why can’t I see you. Why can’t you see me?

Daughter, my dear one.

Breathe. I am here.

I am with you in this moment, in each breath you take, in each tear you shed.

I am weeping with you. Weeping for the pain you feel, weeping for the struggles you endure.

You are not alone, my daughter, you are never alone.

I am found in littleness, I am found in the small.

I am found in the sunshine streaming through your window, I am found in the embrace of a friend.

I am found in beads in your hand you cling to, my daughter, hold fast. You will not go under, I am with you.

You are deserving of every good thing in this world because I call you mine. Because you are my beloved child.

Where I am found, you ask me?

Dearest one, I am found in the searching, in the seeking. I am found in the aching, in the yearning.

I found your first. I loved you first.

And I love you forever more.